Who now shall be the Archbeard of all England?

Francis Sedgemore, Friday 9 November 2012 at 12:55 UTC

News of the appointment via Twitter of the next Archbishop of Canterbury has gone down well in online medialand. From spEak You’re bRanes this morning, a selection…

“I am King of the Fairies and declare that only mushrooms are to be eaten on Tuesdays and served up by scantily-clad young ladies.”

“Which one is he again? Is he the chap who travels in the converted icecream van or the one who helped Frodo destroy the One Ring?”

“Seriously – it’s not important. I think I’d be marginally more interested to find out who had been appointed head of the Guildford Ladies Cricket Club (if they have one).”

“I name myself ‘King Wizard of Zanzibar, ruler over all women’”

“This isn’t relevant”

Oh, those wicked atheists!

But seriously, we have a problem. With Rowan and Jane Williams soon to be ensconced in a tree kissing, free from worries of the Anglican Church and its myriad woes, and Rowan’s replacement with a hairless freak, who will be the next Archbeard of all England? The post cannot be left vacant, or the country will surely go to hell in a handbasket.

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