The flame of hope, it doth splutter in England’s rain

Francis Sedgemore, Monday 7 November 2011 at 11:05 UTC

There is carnage on Britain’s roads, Europe leaps from crisis to crisis, the Italian mob is baying for the blood of that nice Mr Berlusconi, and, tragedy of tragedies, a contrite New Labour spin doctor has kicked the bucket. And how do we fill our breakfast TV schedules? With a profound discussion of what would happen should the Olympic flame go out while relayed around these blessed isles.

We are presented with two options:

  1. “Have faith, and try and change the world.”
  2. Fill your boots.

My choice would be to take Philip Gould’s advice, and piss on the Olympic flame.


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Comments

  1. No Good Boyo

    Tuesday 8 November 2011 at 10:00 UTC

    A girl I knew once tried to put out the eternal flame at the war memorial in Voronezh by spitting on it. Luckily for her it is a gas burner and no amount of British gob could extinguish its Socialist ardour. Also there were no members of the People’s Militia around, or else she’d still be shucking shale up the Yenisei and down to her last tooth.

  2. Francis Sedgemore

    Tuesday 8 November 2011 at 10:05 UTC

    What is the carbon footprint of all these “eternal flames” around the world, gas-fired or whatever? I think we should be told.

  3. No Good Boyo

    Wednesday 9 November 2011 at 07:52 UTC

    Not as big as that Mouth of Hell gas pit in Turkmenistan that the Soviets unwittingly opened, I’ll wager.

  4. Francis Sedgemore

    Wednesday 9 November 2011 at 10:48 UTC

    “The dismantling of the Soviet Onion made us cry.”

    [Farmers Market - a popular beat combo from Norway]