“You’re my bitch now, Mr Seidenfaden!”, says Saudi lawyer Faisal Yamani.

Denmark’s once respected broadsheet newspaper Politiken yesterday lost its battle with journalistic integrity, and gave up the ghost in a deep sigh of petite-bourgeois liberal angst. The funeral will be a private affair, attended only by a small number of shame-faced hacks and members of the Copenhagen chatterati who would rather not be photographed, let alone quoted.

The newspaper’s demise was precipitated by an apology from the editors for their re-publication in 2008 of the infamous Mohammed cartoons. Denmark’s government is not particularly pleased by the latest development.

In other pages, Politiken declares that a former editor spied for the Zionist Entity. Stories about Danish Jews disembowelling København kittens for fiddle strings will no doubt follow.