Britain in grip of Arctic freeze shock
Tuesday 6 January 2009 at 00:29 GMT
Britain is in the grip of an Arctic freeze, says just about every local and national news bulletin. On the BBC’s Newsnight, the great Pax-man informed us that yesterday some 2.6 million Londoners skived off work, no doubt physically unable to prise open their frozen front doors, and with trains across the land grinding to a halt owing to the presence of crystallising dew on the lines.
Outside of the big smoke, the peasants of middle England are this week suffering temperatures as low as –7 degrees, with … wait for it … a windchill of at least –10 degrees owing to the “Arctic air” blowing in from northern Russia and Scandinavia. Oh my!
But hang on a minute. How is it that your average low-fat Nordic type can happily roll naked in the snow at –20 degrees following a 10 kilometre run along a frozen river, and then a moderately warm sauna? Or manage to get a diesel engine running at –35 degrees with the aid of a small amount of petrol mixed into the tank?
Feed the writer! 
Tuesday 6 January 2009 at 06:16 GMT
Just proves my point: Britons are whimps and and wusses.
Tuesday 6 January 2009 at 07:25 GMT
It’s down to -18 here, and we is lovin’ it.
Tuesday 6 January 2009 at 10:10 GMT
Anja – Careful now, oh professor of Anglophone culture; the Brits are your bread and butter.
Gadj – I would be too. At least when it’s less than around –4 degrees you get some traction on the icy ground. It’s worst when the temperature hovers around zero and there’s no snow to provide friction under foot or wheel.
Tuesday 6 January 2009 at 19:26 GMT
Actually, no — my bread and butter are German students from the Rhine-Main and its rural hinterlands and they usually don’t give a shit about Brits or Britain.
Tuesday 6 January 2009 at 19:38 GMT
I meant that if it were not for whimpy, wussy Brits and their excuse for “culture”, you’d be out of a job. After all, US literature is worth diddly squit (joke!).
Tuesday 6 January 2009 at 19:39 GMT
And if it were not for the Daily Wail, your blog posting frequency would plummet. :-)
Tuesday 6 January 2009 at 19:47 GMT
>> Just proves my point: Britons are whimps and and wusses.
Nah, it’s these soft southern ponces who can’t take a dusting of snow.
Tuesday 6 January 2009 at 19:52 GMT
I cycled 30 km in Sarf Lunnon this very evening, and loved every minute of it. I’m fucking hard, me.
Tuesday 6 January 2009 at 20:09 GMT
Are the Sedgmores indigenous to the Great Wen?
Tuesday 6 January 2009 at 20:10 GMT
The Sedgemores, even. You ain’t Wedgwoods.
Tuesday 6 January 2009 at 20:11 GMT
FFS! If I’d spelt it correctly to begin with.
Tuesday 6 January 2009 at 20:17 GMT
No, we are the Somerset and south Walian descendants of rebels against the English crown.
Tuesday 6 January 2009 at 20:34 GMT
Our blog posting has already plummeted, not least because spreading Brit-wit around amongst my Rhenish trogs for money has forced me to delimit my daily perusal of (and wailing about) the Snaily Pail. Our blog has gone serious (though you wouldn’t notice, of course).
:-), too
Tuesday 6 January 2009 at 21:06 GMT
Piffle, Francis, you’re just kicking yourself that your lot didn’t seize control like those other Welsh upstarts, the Tudors.
Tuesday 6 January 2009 at 21:13 GMT
Your normally highly-tuned irony detector malfunctioning this evening, is it Alec?
Tuesday 6 January 2009 at 22:04 GMT
M-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ybe. Naratriptan brings on many changes. Where have I gone wrong?
Tuesday 6 January 2009 at 22:11 GMT
If you suffer from migraines, Alec, perhaps you ought to take it easy with the HP Sauce.